All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
