She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
