Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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