She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
mondays should just be called national damage control day
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
