if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
home. puking in laundry basket.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
