Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize