I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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