her vagine was all disorganized.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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