How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
