You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
