sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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