wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
