Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
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Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
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I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
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