carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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