just tell him i said nine months
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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