Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
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We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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