i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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