Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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