i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
