found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
