need another drink. this is the easiest way
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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