The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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