Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
