Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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