her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
