Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
