You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
