we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
