Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
time to smoke my breakfast
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
