his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
