READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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