"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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