So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
