I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize