I'm jealous of your bromance
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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