DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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