we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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