Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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