That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
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All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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