small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
