I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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