I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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