I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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