every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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