It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
