Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
