Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
