but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
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I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
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After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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