He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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