By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize