I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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