Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
areolas are like halos for boobs.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
