There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
