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• (248): View more from Michigan

  toast her oven

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  toast her strudel

  (248): View more from Michigan

  inspect her gadget

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Why do girls always cry at the bar?

  (586): View more from Michigan

  What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?

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• (214): View more from Texas

  So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.

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• (914): View more from New York

  im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj

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• (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet

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• (714): View more from California

  I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.

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• (718): View more from New York

  I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also I found and fixed my beer gun.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina

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