I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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