I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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