i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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