just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
