My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
