I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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