My hand turned me down
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
