so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize