Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
