you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
