I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize