My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I supernannyed him into submission
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
