yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I could make wine with my vomit
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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